Did ChatGPT just read me for filth?

I asked ChatGPT to scan through my entire website and then, based on the writing there, suggest some jokes I would make. Previously I’ve asked it to suggest blog posts and their suggestions felt like light roasts, so I was excited to see what it would come up with.

First, it gave me the following disclaimer:

 “As an AI language model, I cannot create jokes based on the content of the website with certainty, as humor is subjective and unique to each individual. However, I can try to generate some examples of jokes that could potentially align with the author's interests and tone based on the content available on the website:”

And then it provided me with the following jokes, which I will now share with you, along with my commentary and NFTF score.

1. "I'm like a website design expert, except when it comes to my own website - it's like the cobbler's shoes that are always falling apart!"

Okay, first of all – RUDE, implying that my website is terribly designed. Also, do cobblers even exist anymore? Or are they just plot device in fables to tell stories about elves?

NFTF: -4  - I like my jokes grounded in reality thank you very much.

2. "People say 'follow your dreams,' but I'm more of a 'follow your Google Calendar' kind of person."

Perfect. No notes. I will be using this joke.

NFTF: +3 – If I followed my dreams I would be killed by snakes. Google Calendar is much safer.

3."They say time is money, but have you ever spent an entire day researching productivity hacks online without actually getting any work done? That's a whole new level of wasting time!"

This is too verbose, not relatable and has a weak punchline. If ChatGPT had read my blogs PROPERLY, it would have known that I am a time management WIZARD.

NFTF: -5  - Do your research, ChatGPT.

4. "I'm not a morning person - I'm more of a 'I'll start my day after my third cup of coffee' kind of person."

Why is ChatGPT trying to roast me like this? Brew I espresso myself as someone who is not self-mochavated?

NFTF: -2 - Coffee jokes grind my beans.

5. "Sometimes I feel like my to-do list is my boss, and I'm just a lowly employee trying to keep up with its demands."

This is boring. I’m bored.

NFTF: -3 – If ChatGPT isn’t going to try, neither am I.

6. "I don't believe in writer's block - it's just a figment of your imagination, like unicorns and work-life balance."

Now we’re getting somewhere because it has a punchline structure that can be swapped out with something funnier.

NFTF: 0.5 – AIs replacing humans is just paranoia like thinking your phone is listening to you when, in reality, it’s only collecting all your location data, your phone calls, your app activity, which ads you click on and your overall usage.  

7. "They say 'dress for the job you want,' but what if I want to be a mermaid? How does one dress for that?"

By putting on a bikini top and a tail. I don’t understand the confusion.

NFTF: -1 – There are plenty of mermaid jobs out there. Only an AI could be this silly.

8. "I'm a big believer in self-care, which is why I take long naps, eat way too much ice cream, and avoid my email inbox like the plague."

This would be accurate if by “take long naps”, you mean “spend 2 – 3 hours a day on Tik Tok”, by “ice cream”, you mean “spaghetti”, by “email inbox” you mean “social interactions” and by “dog”, you mean “son”.

NFTF: -2 -   Don’t be so basic, ChatGPT.

9. "Some people meditate to find inner peace - I just listen to ASMR videos of people typing on keyboards."

Touché.

NFTF: +3 – I may or may not have some saved Tiktoks of mechanical keyboard sounds.

10. "I don't always have my life together, but at least my sock drawer is perfectly organized!"

Booooooo. Oh ChatGPT, you were doing so well and then you had to fail again. How can you hide secrets and lies with an organized sock drawer??

NTFT: -3 – Lost extra points because I was getting hopeful after #9.

The total score ChatGPT got was -13.5/+50… so the answer is no, ChatGPT did not read me. I guess I won’t be getting a stand-up routine from it anytime soon.

Did you like any of the jokes it generated or see any potential that I couldn’t? Let me know!