Why be grateful when you can WIN?

I’ve never been against gratitude. In fact, I have my whole trifecta of Love – Gratitude – Imagination and how it’s important to tap into all of them.

But I’ve got to be honest.

Practicing gratitude, at least in the way I do it, does not make me feel good.

There are a million things I can list to be grateful for – but instead of feeling the positive humility you’re supposed to feel, I just start feeling anxious and guilty. This is the thought pattern that happens:

I have X in my life.

I’m grateful for X.

X was given to me.

I didn’t do anything to earn X.

I don’t deserve X.

X can be taken away.

X WILL be taken away.  

Am I doing enough to honor the fact that I was given X?

Why the fuck was I given X when I didn’t deserve X?

What the fuck am I supposed to do to retroactively deserve X?

When X is taken away from me, I will be devastated, and I won’t know how to survive.

I’m so weak.

Why doesn’t everyone get the benefit of X the way I do?

What kind of sick joke is this anyways?

So not necessarily the healthiest thought pattern.

But recently, I was co-leading a LEADWELL training session for Project Passport, and we had the most wonderful activity: Win Until the Pot Is Full.

Essentially, everyone in the group takes turns sharing their Wins, at least 3 times. These can be big things or small things. They do not need to be recent. It’s just things that are an achievement or celebration for you – anything from getting out of bed without hitting the snooze button, finding the perfect desk to completing a course.  

I’m BEGGING you to try this activity with ANYONE. It can just be you and another loved one or do it in a large group. When others share, listen actively instead of thinking about your turn and really celebrate the win with them. You be surprised at:  

·        What is currently going on in people’s lives.

·        What kinds of things brighten other people’s days.

·        How good you’ll feel to be able to celebrate things with other.

·        How much you will start finding your “wins” throughout the day.

It may say something about my personality/character that I lean into identifying wins as a way to reflect on my day, but it’s a practice that has come very naturally and does not take effort or discipline to implement daily (unlike “gratitude”).

What have been your wins lately? I would love to know!

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