The Fountain of Youth Runs with the Blood of Your Ego

What does it mean to be young? In the broadest of terms, it means to be on the early side of the spectrum, to have a path ahead, to be certain that progress is possible.

For example, being physically young means that, barring any issues, your body has lots of years ahead to function.  Similarly, being mentally young means there is more to learn and more room for growth.

But wait a second… isn’t there always more to learn and more room for growth? To say that there is no more room for learning or growth would be hubris.

Exactly. It is.

But here’s my theory: people who age quickly are people who have decided that there is no more room for growth and change in some part of their life.

These are the people who choose not to try new things, acquire new skills, challenge their bodies, explore diverse perspectives, or tap into the zeitgeist ever so often.

Often, this lack of engagement and curiosity is attributed to fear – and to an extent, that is a valid excuse. Risks are risky, and so prioritizing physical and psychological safety is fair.

However, that excuse should not mask a deeper more esoteric fear that is fueled by the ego: the fear of change. Trying something new or doing something different is essentially making a change. To make a change, you have to recognize that a change is needed. To recognize that a change is needed, your ego has to step aside and be okay that the status quo is not perfect.

Not only does your ego have to reckon with the “burden” of imperfection, it also needs to be able to handle that it will not instantly be amazing at anything new it tries. That it’s okay to be do things for the sake of doing them.

Essentially, this is a reframing of Carol Dweck’s concept of a Growth Mindset pitted against a Fixed Mindset.

I am arguing that an individual who has a Fixed Mindset – that is, someone who operates under the assumption that Intelligence is static – is ruled by their ego. Let’s explore the characteristics (as defined by this article):

·        Avoids challenges (because the ego doesn’t want to look foolish)

·        Decides that something is too hard before trying (because it’s safer for the ego than failing outright)

·        Expects reward without effort (since the ego believes it deserves everything good thing it is given)

·        Ignores feedback (because the ego knows better than anyone else)

·        Threatened by the success of others (because the ego cannot endure being outshined)

Whereas someone with a Growth Mindset:

·        Embraces challenges (because failure is a temporary state)

·        Knows they can train their brain (since there is always more to learn)

·        Puts in effort as a path to mastery (enjoys the journey)

·        Learns from feedback (recognizes blind spots)

·        Inspired by success of others (a rising tide raises all ships)

At the heart of it, having a Growth Mindset, and thereby retaining youthfulness, requires humility. Humility and the ego cannot co-exist peacefully.  Ergo, kill the ego!

Do you agree with my theory? Let me know what you think!

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